The Girl and the Hose

My summer so far has not been an overwhelmingly relaxing one. There are stresses, and I haven't slept in several weeks. Pictures like this though, remind me that I'm at least succeeding in seeing to it that the kids have a happy and carefree summer. For that, I am so thankful.

Green Beans and Memories

Last night the boys snapped the green beans for dinner.


The last time I saw my grandmother before she died was at my parents' house. We were all there for the weekend, and we barbequed, played outside, and took the kids to a local orchard for fruit, rides, and caramel apples. It was a nice weekend. It was also the weekend I first suspected I was pregnant with Everett, and hadn't yet told anyone. But what I'm remembering, what I will always remember when I see fresh green beans, is my grandmother.


Like lots of grandmothers, she so enjoyed taking care of her children and grandchildren. She always kept busy in the kitchen, always prepared wonderful things. Even that weekend, when she was becoming increasingly slowed by her failing health, there was no denying her need to help.

Her assignment that day was the green beans. I can still see her sitting at Mom & Dad's little round wooden table... slowly, deliberately, and happily - always so happy to serve others - snapping those green beans. I have a lot of lovely memories of my grandmother, but that one stays the most vivid in my mind and in my heart... maybe because it was the last time I saw her, maybe because it was one of those little things that truly exemplified her giving spirit. Whatever the reason, I thought of it last night as my own boys prepared the green beans. It made me smile just to watch them, and I know that if she was watching, she was smiling too.

Family Quarrels

I read this quote this morning and felt compelled to post it somewhere. It made me sad, mostly because it is so undeniably true. For all its sadness, there is something beautiful about it too... a reminder of the frailty of relationships, the importance of family, and the need to treat each other with respect. Words truly can cause "splits that won't heal."

"Family quarrels are bitter things. They don't go by any rules. They're not like aches or wounds; they're more like splits in the skin that won't heal because there's not enough material." F. Scott Fitzgerald

The Dog Days of Summer

A snapshot of this Tuesday, June 30, 2009, at 10:40 AM. (No actual snapshots though, as there is a little too much free-flying water out here for my camera to make it out unscathed).

Spencer has made some sort of water rocket with an old tube and the garden hose. He and Paxton are experimenting to get the best height and velocity. The rocket is flying, twisting and turning and spraying water in a circular pattern all over the yard.

Everett has turned the sand table into a lake table. They do this almost daily, and between the heat and the dry air, the water evaporates and they're back to perfect sand-castle sand in a matter of hours. All of their plastic food from their food set, from sushi to vegetables to icecream to sandwich fixings, are floating in the water, and he has been spending the past hour preparing and bringing me snacks.

Tegan is bouncing around like only a toddler can do, and is enjoying it all - the water, the sand, the toys, her brothers.

The dog is laying in the sun.

It's summer in Phoenix.

Update from a strangely quiet house

Last night, Mom and Dad picked up all three boys and brought them to stay at their house for a few days. They'll be going to VBS at their church today and tomorrow, and we'll go up to join them on Saturday.

I recently got some backlash on Facebook because of a status comment I made about liking having my kids at home. I do. I'm happy they're home, I'm happy I get to spend this time with them, I'm happy they're not in school all day. I make no apologies for that! Their childhood is so so short.

I'm enjoying spending quality "girl time" with Tegan today, and I'm glad that my boys are having a good time at their grandparents'. I remember spending time with my grandparents so fondly!! Everything was always special at their house, no matter what it was... from coloring to eating cookies to banging away on their piano. Fond memories indeed. Still, the house feels strange and quiet without all my chicks present and accounted for. I love watching them grow and gain a healthy independence... but I do feel most right when all my kids (and my husband for that matter) are at least in the same zipcode. I can't wait to give them all a hug on Saturday.

On the health front, the tide seems to have favorably turned at last. Everyone is healthy, and while Everett does have Thalassemia, it does not require treatment. My kidney issue seems to be more of a sticking point, and I will be having follow-up tests - and possibly procedures - but for the moment I am well, and pain-free! Yesterday we all finally made it to one of the Kids Summer Movies(we missed the first three) and just being out and doing something fun gave me a new, much needed, lease on life.

Spencer and his hair

Spencer hadn't cut his hair in over a year. I'm not completely sure when he stopped cutting it, but it was short in this Easter 2008 picture, and I know it wasn't cut since then.


He just let it grow and grow (and boy did a grow!) until he had a long, thick beautiful mane of hair.


The past several weeks he's been asking to cut it. It was getting hot, it was easily tangled, and he was having trouble getting all the shampoo out of it. He's got his mom's thick hair to be sure! He didn't want to go to a hair dresser because he's not fond of getting man-handled, especially around his head and face. I can completely relate on that front, as I'm one of the only women I know who has no desire to get a massage, a facial, a pedicure, or any of the other spa-related pamperings that people get so excited about.

But he wanted it cut. So this weekend, I cut it myself.



He knew exactly what he wanted... he still wanted it on the longer side, but with bangs and long layers. We tried to model it after Dylan and Cole Sprouse - from the Suite Life of Zack and Cody - but since he has so much natural wave, it turned out a little more Jonas Brother than Sprouse Brother. He is very happy with it, thrilled with how light it feels, and excited to have a "'do" instead of just long, long hair.

Photography by the kids

Taking a break from thinking about medical stuff for awhile....

Some of Everett and Spencer's creations with pattern blocks






Paxton's baseball trophy


Everett's handprint. I didn't know he could write his name until the past couple of weeks, when he started writing it on everything!


Bailey and Zoey


My sweet baby girl.

The pièce de résistance

This is what my kidney, bladder and ureters look like right now, as of Friday evening. I have a swollen and backed up kidney, a swollen, irritated ureter, a stent in place, and a 5 mm stone that so far doesn't want to go anywhere.

Anyone who follows my Facebook page knows that the past six weeks or so have been difficult for us in terms of sickness... there have been flus, fevers, coughing, vomiting, diarreah... doctor visits, blood tests, stool tests and more blood tests. As of this writing, we are still waiting to hear on whether or not Everett's blood disorder is going to require treatment.

I try to keep most of that stuff off my blog, because really, who wants to read it?? But this was too much. There comes a time when a person just has to purge.

Mike was home from work on Thursday (he was on day three of the flu, complete with high fever, cold sweats and hot sweats), and I woke up, out of the blue, feeling like I was getting a UTI. Nah, why would I be getting a UTI? I drank a whole bunch of water, and got through the day. I was distracted because I was still nursing Tegan back to health (she too was on day three of a fever and had thrown up the night before) Friday morning Mike stayed home again - THANKFULLY - and the first thing I did when I got up was get pre-registered for a spot in Urgent Care. My symptoms were not going away no matter how hard I tried to ignore them. I was there promptly at 8:00, and was seen shortly thereafter. The urinalysis showed that yes, I had an infection, but more concerning was the huge amount of blood in my urine, that didn't seem to jive with a simple UTI. He said we'd assume for now it was just from the infection, but that I needed to follow up with a doctor in a couple of days. So off I went with a prescription in hand, shaking my head at the randomness of getting a UTI in the middle of everything else.

I dropped off my prescription at CVS, came home and ate a huge piece of chocolate cake (I will always remember that, because I had to disclose what and when I last ate to all the doctors and nurses later at the hospital) I was online, answering some emails and browsing around Facebook when the pain started hitting me. I was trying to craft a message to a friend who I'd unintentionally offended which led to her taking me off her friend's list. I will always remember that because I at first attributed the increased pain to feeling stressed about the situation. It didn't take me long to realize that that was not the case. Shortly after that, I was doubled over in pain, barely able to walk, speak, or make any kind of coherent sense. Two hours from the time I'd gotten home from the doctor's, we were back in the car, headed to the ER.

I have to stop here and say that up till this point, I would have told you, without hesitation, that my gall bladder attacks were the most painful thing I've ever experienced. That is no longer true.

Mike signed me in at the ER, then left with the kids. We had no one to watch them, and I didn't want them in the hospital with their immune systems already so compromised with the month they'd had! The hardest part of those first couple of hours, besides the searing pain of course, was`just being there all alone. I got a room after just a few minutes, and they started murmuring about a kidney stone right from the beginning. They had me give a urine sample, and took blood, and otherwise left me sitting hunched over - it hurt too much to lay down - shaking and nauseous (really regretting the chocolate cake by that point) in the little exam room. They took me for a CT scan, and wrapped me in warm blankets. Finally my nurse, who coincidentally remembered me from a previous visit, became my personal savior and brought me drugs. An anti-nausea drug, and morphine. Oh the sweet, sweet relief of morphine.

The pain relief made everything much easier, as did the fact that my mom came down to watch the kids so that Mike could come sit with me at the hospital. I'd kept him updated by phone as I got each bit of information. Yes, there was a stone. It was 5 mm, a good size but not the biggest ever. A urologist would have to be consulted because my kidney and ureters were extremely irritated and swollen, and the stone was blocking the path to the point that urine wasn't getting through. The urologist looked at the x-rays and announced that I'd have to get a stent, basically a tube to let everything drain.... which would require general anesthesia, a breathing tube, recovery, and the whole she-bang. Seriously?

A few hours later we were down in the OR, feeling a very unpleasant sense of deja-vu. It was just over a year ago that we were there for my gall bladder surgery. My favorite part was the drugs that they gave me to relax, just before they wheeled me in. Good drugs. Everything was blurry after I woke up, with the exception of the overwhelming, and overwhelming painful, urge to pee. I did finally go, but it did nothing to relieve that awful feeling. The doctor told me - in my drug induced haze - that it was just irritation from the stent, and that it might, or might not, go away as my body got used to it. Swell. It was Mike who actually got the most information from the doctor though, as the nurse got me up and unattached from everything and dressed again. The procedure went well, but the amount of damage in my kidney and ureters was not consistent with just a few days of pain. He said something had been going on for a while, that this wasn't a simple case of a kidney stone. Which means... xrays next week, a follow-up with the doctor, and in the event that the stone doesn't pass on its own, yet another procedure to remove it.

I'm on antibiotics now, and pain killers. Feeling woozy and sore and uncomfortable, and I get to pee in a strainer. Mike goes back to work tomorrow, and I'll have to figure out how to take care of myself, the kids, and the house without any assistance. Oh and I have to deal with the water heater guy on my own too, since ours exploded yesterday afternoon and we're getting it replaced tomorrow.

Ah, life.

Quote of the Day

I love John Holt. He and John Taylor Gatto were so hugely instrumental in our path to unschooling. I came across this quote today - one that I have read before - and wanted to share it. So simple and meaningful at the same time. Love it.

Once when John Holt was speaking to a school audience, describing his views on their structured curriculum, a student asked him, "But surely there must be something important enough that everyone should learn it?" He thought for a moment and replied, "To learn to say 'I'm sorry', 'I don't know', and 'I was wrong'."

Seasons Change

It's officially hot in Phoenix. While our east coast friends are celebrating spring and turning to their outdoor activities, we are doing just the opposite... switching gears and enjoying our indoor pursuits for most of the day. We are still geocaching (in fact we logged a marathon session of 39 finds this weekend!) but we're sticking to side-of-the-road “park and grabs” now, instead of those that require hikes. Spencer brings his radar gun, and entertains himself by shooting the passing cars when he's not looking for a cache.

Everett and I have been doing a lot of puzzles and playing a lot of card games, and the big boys are rediscovering old computer programs – Spencer is currently immersed in Roller Coaster Tycoon, and is giving us frequent updates on his visitors, attractions, and food. Paxton is keeping busy with Zoo Tycoon, and his most recent experiment involved letting the lions out of their pen to see if they would eat the scientist. (They did)

We made homemade donuts this weekend, which was a first, and is a project that will likely be repeated in the future







Finally, dad celebrates his 60th birthday next weekend. We surprised him by showing up with the kids and a cake on Saturday. We grilled burgers, drank prickly pear margaritas, and just generally enjoyed the day. Happy Birthday Dad!!

Happy Saturdays

A baseball game, the final game of the season. Another strong showing by our favorite player. A visit from Mom and Dad

A pizza party with coach, players, and families at Peter Pipers

An afternoon of swimming (first of the season!) and visiting at my sister's. A ride in her new Prius

A day around people who love my kids and who let me be me

I needed that

Cache us if you can

Ha. Couldn't resist.

We hid our first cache last weekend, and three days later it was approved, listed on geocaching.com, and ready to find. We've been caching for 3 months now, and have found 44 caches. The excitement of the hunt though is nothing compared to the excitement of hiding our own!

Tucking it into its hiding place


Double-checking the coordinates


Check out the view! I love Phoenix.






Because there are sometimes hiccups in life, our very first cache was stolen less than 24 hours after we planted it. And because life goes on, the following weekend we hid a new one in a better place, updated our listing, and all is right with the world once again.

Phoenix in April

Last week, Skip & Barbara, and Rob, Celia and little Ayla all came to visit. I posted this one picture (the rest of the weeks pics can be found here, here, here, and here) because the outdoors seemed to be the theme of the week. We spent much of the time just sitting out back - watching the kids play, chatting around the patio table, eating (always eating!), and catching up. We spent a day at the Wildlife Zoo and Aquarium, another exploring an old ghost town, and an afternoon playing at Makutu's Island. We watched Paxton's baseball game, celebrated at Everett's 5th birthday party, and rocked out on Rock Band. Celia made us an authentic puerto rican meal, filled with yummy foods with fancy names that I vowed to myself I'd remember, then of course promptly forgot.

The week wasn't without it's snafus though. We never did get to take them geocaching or offroading. I never made my berry dessert (I hope introducing them to Jamba Juice made up for it!) We learned that the children's museum is closed on Mondays, that Mike's truck will overheat after too much heavy mountain driving, and that it takes a long time to get 11 people all moving in the same direction at the same time. I'd like to think we'd all agree it was worth it!

It was so good to see them all, to get to spend time with our neice who we'd previously only known through photos, and to share our little corner of the world. I only hope they all had a good time, and that their vacation was a great one.

And last but absolutely not least:



Happy, happy birthday to my beautiful five year old Everett. I loved petting all the baby goats with you last week!!!!

My Little Weekend Project

I posted this on my Debt Blog, but for those of you who don't read it, I wanted to post it here as well. I started a website for my stay-at-home-mom friends (well, really for anybody, but especially those moms who want to bring in a few extra dollars to help make ends meet) The site is eventually going to grow, but for now it is focused squarely on making money through online surveys.... my history, some tips & faqs, and my own personal list of the best paying sites. Check it out.

Best Free Survey Sites

Finding Our Groove

Confession: I find the first year with a new baby incredibly hard. With Spencer, we were a little spoiled because 1) he was a very laid-back baby, and 2) he was an only child! Paxton spent a good portion of his first year of life screaming, despite my best attempts to console him. Everett was a little more carefree, like Spencer was, but his first year was difficult for other reasons. Plus by then I had a 7 year old and a 3 year old who needed me as well.

With Tegan, thinking about her first year makes me sad in too many ways. I feel like I missed so much of it, being so sick with my gall bladder (then the surgery and subsequent recovery period) Even now, nearly a year post-surgery, I'm still not "right," and it puts me out of commission way more often than it should. Everett has had a very difficult time with the amount of time and attention that a baby needs, and it breaks my heart a little bit to know that he feels like he hasn't had enough of me for the past year. Its a cliche, but I have wished so often in the past year that there were two of me. I've been feeling stretched, at times nearly to the breaking point.

Lately though, there's been a shift. It's been gradual and slight, but it's there. Tegan isn't quite as grumpy as she was a few months ago. I'm able to set her down more often, which allows me to play with both her and Everett more easily. She's actually playing with her brothers, instead of trying to hit/throw/destroy whatever it is they're doing. She's taking a fairly predictable afternoon nap, and I'm able to devote more of my time to the boys. The house is running more smoothly, and things are just... calmer. Happier. There are more good days than bad.

Yesterday there was a huge Spring celebration at church, and we were there for four full hours. The boys had an absolute blast on the inflatable bouncy houses and obstacle courses and slides (there were over 18 of them to choose from!) Mike and I were able to listen to the lesson while the kids enjoyed their kids' classes. We all got dinner from the grill and sat on a blanket in the crowd and ate it picnic-style. On the way home, we decided to cap off the day by stopping for ice cream.

Life is still busy, and at times oh-so-stressful. But yesterday was good. Right now, here in this moment, it's all good.

Easter

Like every other major holiday lately, Easter completely snuck up on us. And, like every other weekend lately, it was a busy but joy-filled few days. The boys enjoyed coloring eggs, and even Tegan joined in on the fun with a little marker.







We ultimately ended up throwing out all two dozen eggs, because their age was a little questionable, and Mike felt "off" after he ate one... but no one minded. The fun was in the coloring and the hunting.

We went to Easter services on Saturday night - just us and 4,000 other members. It was the second of 5 weekend services, and they were all expected to be filled to capacity. It was awesome! Since we've been going to this church, we've gotten many negative comments - some veiled, some not-so-veiled - about its size. I'm not sure what it is that people find so (Off-putting? Scary? Objectionable?) about large churches, or why they assume that a large church can't be intimate or warm or inviting. I love our church, and I love its services. I come away feeling touched and inspired every week, and Easter was no exception.

We were up early - early early - on Easter morning, because the boys were excited to get to their basket. We got dressed up again and joined Mom and Dad at their church for services too. I missed most of the sermon though because I was in the nursery with Tegan. Yes, that was my daughter you heard happily screaming "Dada Dada Dada!!! Lalalalalalalala!" while you tried to listen to the minister's heartfelt lesson.

We spent the afternoon at Mom and Dad's, my favorite way to spend any holiday. Good company, good food, good times.







Happy Easter, and a blessed Spring, to all.

Life and Death

This is Bailey, the newest addition to our menagerie. She is a dumbo rat, and has so far been a sweet and curious girl.



Last week, we said goodbye to Miley, the rat that started it all. She showed us what wonderful pets that rats make, and she laid the path that saw us buying (so far) 5 more. She was nearly four years old, and she went peacefully in her sleep, just one day after I noticed that she seemed to be declining.

I recently heard someone say that she didn't want to buy her 4 year old a pet, because she didn't want her to be sad when the pet eventually (and inevitably) died. Pets do die. And the all-too-painful reality is that people die too. But learning about death also means learning about life. It is precious, and fleeting, and can only be appreciated and understood if you actually let yourself live it, rats and all.