Heaven, and scared puppies

The boys and I have talked a lot about what dog heaven must be like for Ally. Ally's heaven, we decided, must be filled with FOOD. Not just dog food, or even people food, but all the things Ally deemed appropriate for eating.... including - but not limited to - cat food, cat litter, poop, crayons, playdough, and plastic bags. We have no doubt that she's a happy, happy dog now.

Today's picture, and note from the advent calendar, is of a place that's very much like my idea of heaven. Or at least a part of it. A place that's filled with BOOKS! More books than I could ever read in a lifetime. Fiction and non-fiction; books that teach, amuse, inspire, awe, entertain. I love the library!!!


It had been a while since we'd gone, and we made up for lost time with a gigantic stack of books and movies. We were all in great spirits on the way home, and were amusing ourselves trying to remember all the verses of the 12 Days of Christmas. Unfortunately, we came home to find a panicked and trembling dog, who'd managed to chew up the entire plastic tray of her crate, and bloodied her mouth in the process. She is petrified of being left alone, and so far we haven't found the proper way to deal with it. Left alone in the house she chews up the door jams and blinds. Gated in the kitchen she panics, jumps the gate, and again more chewing. My poor baby!! I'm sad and frustrated, and angry at the people who didn't give her the love she so very much deserved and wanted.

Deck the Halls

Last night I finished and hung the advent calendar that the boys and I have been working so hard on the past few days. We sewed all the pockets, brainstormed a list of ideas for fun activities for the month, and finally put it all together. Each day they'll take turns opening a pocket and reading the note, and hanging a little charm on it to count down the days till Christmas. They were very excited to start it today, and to officially enter the time of the advent. Today's project? Paper snowflakes. I took pictures - of course - and decided that I'd challenge myself, just for fun, to take daily pictures and post them all month long. I don't know who's looking forward to this month more, myself or the kids.

Another reason I homeschool...

A Little Boy By Helen Buckley

Once a little boy went to school.
He was quite a little boy
And it was quite a big school.
But the little boy
Found that he could go to his room
By walking in from the door outside,
He was happy
And school did not seem
Quite so big any more.

One morning,
When the little boy had been in school awhile,
The teacher said:
Today we are going to make a picture.
Good, thought the little boy.
He liked to make pictures.
He could make all things;
Lions and tigers,
Chickens and cows,
Trains and boats -
And he took out his box of crayons
And began to draw.

But the teacher said, Wait.
It is not time to begin.
And she waited until everyone looked ready.
Now, said the teacher,
We are going to make flowers.
Good, thought the little boy.
He liked to make flowers,
And he began to make beautiful flowers.
With his pink and orange and blue crayons.
But the teacher said, Wait!
And I will show you how.
And it was red, with a green stem.
There, said the teacher,
Now you may begin.
The little boy looked at the teacher's flower.
Then he looked at his own flower.
He liked his flower better than the teacher's.
But he did not say this.
He just turned his paper over
And he made a flower like the teacher's.
It was red, with a green stem.

On another day,
When the little boy had opened
The door from outside all by himself,
The teacher said:
Today we are going to make something with clay.
Good, thought the little boy.
He liked clay.
He could make all kinds of things with clay:
Snakes and snowmen,
Elephants and mice,
Cars and trucks -
And he began to pull and pinch
His ball of clay.
But the teacher said:
Wait, it is not time to begin.
And she waited until everyone looked ready.
Now, said the teacher,
We are going to make a dish,
He liked to make dishes,
And he began to make some
That were all shapes and sizes.
But the teacher said, Wait
And I will show you how.
And she showed everyone how to make
One deep dish.
There, said the teacher.
Now you may begin.

The little boy looked at the teacher's dish,
Then he looked at his own.
He liked his dishes better than the teacher's.
But he did not say this.
He just rolled his clay into a big ball again
And he made a dish just like the teacher's.
It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon the little boy learned to wait,
And to watch, And to make things just like the teacher.
And pretty soon
He didn't make anything of his own any more.
Then it happened
That the little boy and his family
Moved into another house,
In another city,
And the little boy had to go to another school.
This school was even bigger than the other one,
And there was no door from the outside into his room.
He had to go up some steps,
And walk down a long hall
To get to his room.
And the very first day
He was there,
The teacher said:
Today we are going to make a picture.
Good, thought the little boy,
And he waited for the teacher
To tell him what to do.
But the teacher didn't say anything.
She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy she said:
Don't you want to make a picture?
Yes, said the little boy,
What are we going to make?
I don't know until you make it, said the teacher.
How shall I make it? asked the little boy.
Why, anyway you like, said the teacher.
And any colour? asked the little boy.
Any colour, said the teacher.
If everyone made the same picture,
And used the same colours,
How would I know who made what?
And which was which?
I don't know, said the little boy,
And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.



The Animal School: A Fable

by George Reavis

Animals in the Animal SchoolOnce upon a time the animals decided they must do something heroic to meet the problems of a “new world” so they organized a school. They had adopted an activity curriculum consisting of running, climbing, swimming and flying. To make it easier to administer the curriculum, all the animals took all the subjects.

The duck was excellent in swimming. In fact, better than his instructor. But he made only passing grades in flying and was very poor in running. Since he was slow in running, he had to stay after school and also drop swimming in order to practice running. This was kept up until his webbed feet were badly worn and he was only average in swimming. But average was acceptable in school so nobody worried about that, except the duck.

The rabbit started at the top of the class in running but had a nervous breakdown because of so much makeup work in swimming.

The squirrel was excellent in climbing until he developed frustration in the flying class where his teacher made him start from the ground up instead of the treetop down. He also developed a “charlie horse” from overexertion and then got a C in climbing and D in running.

The eagle was a problem child and was disciplined severely. In the climbing class, he beat all the others to the top of the tree but insisted on using his own way to get there.

At the end of the year, an abnormal eel that could swim exceeding well and also run, climb and fly a little had the highest average and was valedictorian.

The prairie dogs stayed out of school and fought the tax levy because the administration would not add digging and burrowing to the curriculum. They apprenticed their children to a badger and later joined the groundhogs and gophers to start a successful private school.

A boy and his dog

Spencer fell asleep while he was petting her. It was just what the boy, and the dog, have been needing.

Something kind of cool

Last week was Paxton's last ball game of the season. It was a great game, and a great season for that matter. We took Sophie along to watch, and she sat patiently and happily with us on the bottom bench of the bleachers.

After the game, the coach handed all the parents a letter, along with an individual assessment of your child. Paxton's first few sentences said this:

"Paxton improved the most out of any player on the team this year from start to finish. He should be very proud of himself. He always gives his best and his behavior was exemplary during practice and at our games"

Everyone knows how I feel about anything school-like in nature. I abhor tests and grades, gold stars and progress reports. But this was cool. He's found a sport he loves and he's working hard at it. He should be proud, and I'm proud too.

Sophie

Ten days ago we got up early, got dressed, and headed to PetSmart to be there when they opened. We got there around 9:30, a half hour after they opened, and a half hour before Noah's Ark Pet Adoptions was scheduled to start showing their dogs.

An hour later we left with a 20 pound bag of puppy food, a food dish, a box of biscuits, a bone... and oh yes, a one year old Shepherd mix who answers to the name of Sophie. Anyone who has heard me talk about Sophie has been told the same thing: She is just a gentle, gentle soul. For her first few days, she was quiet, calm and reserved. Now that she's more comfortable, her playful puppy is coming out. But still that gentle spirit is there. We fell in love with it as soon as we met her. She obviously did not have an easy life for her first year, which is hard to understand, as she is the sweetest, friendliest girl on four legs.

Sophie loves to chew (and being the puppy that she still is, she is still figuring out what is and what isn't acceptable to chew on) Thankfully, she's very apologetic and accomodating when she has something she shouldn't. No running away or playing tug-of-war. She loves to chase her tennis balls - a gift from the adoption organization - in the back yard. She loves to roll around in the grass. But her favorite thing? Gratefully following her new people from room to room, stopping and resting for pats, kisses and snuggles. She is a joy, and she is the perfect addition to our family.

My kids and the election

Oh, where to begin...

Two days ago, we as a country elected Barack Obama as our next president. It is, to be sure, the beginning of a new era for the United States, but also the end of a long and complicated campaign and election process. As always, we have involved the boys every step of the way. We've talked with them about the candidates, we've answered questions, we've shared our - at most times, very differing - views. We've discussed the issues. We watched the results as they unfolded.

And now here we are. This is what I hope my kids have learned, and will continue to learn, from this election:

First, I believe they already knew this, but I hope it cements for them that the color of your skin and the name on your birth certificate truly does not matter, that a black man, or white man, or asian man is no more or less capable of running a country. For that matter, gender doesn't matter either! This election brought Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin into their consciousness, and for that I am also thankful. Our kids are growing up in a time when racial and gender barriers are breaking down right in front of us.

Second, I hope they learned that it is up to them to research, to search their hearts, to form their own opinions. So that when the time comes they can vote their OWN vote, not someone else's. I hope they learned that even among family and friends (and at times, ESPECIALLY among family and friends) that this is one area that can prompt some strong, and vastly different, opinions and that that IS OK! I hope they learned how to respectfully disagree and to stand strong in their own beliefs. I hope they learned that they could support a candidate of their choice without feeling the need to disparage someone else's. I hope they learned that if something sounds too extreme - whether good or bad - then it probably is, and that the truth is much more likely to be somewhere in the middle.

I hope they learned the difference between good, honest campaigning and mud slinging. I hope they learned about sportsmanship. I hope they learned what a heartfelt and gracious consession speech sounds like, and why McCain was right in quickly shutting down the "boos" from the crowd.

Finally, as we move into the next four years, I hope that my kids see that this is a time for HOPE and not fear.

October: The Good, The Bad, and The Painful

It is 7:30 AM at the time of this writing. Mike has left for work, and all four kids are still sleeping. I think this is the stillest the house - and by extension, myself - has been in weeks.

Everett is on his fifth day of antibiotics for walking pneumonia. He was diagnosed after an early morning urgent care visit last weekend. He'd woken up in the middle of the night, crying that his back and chest hurt when he breathed. It was the first full day of Mike's 3 day business trip to Boston, so I was solo with the kids. Thankfully he's feeling like himself again, but has now developed a related rash. It's not bothering him at the moment, so I'm taking the wait-and-see approach, to decide whether or not I want him to be seen before his follow-up on Monday. I just had to get him a new pediatritian, since their old one is not covered under the new insurance.

Monday night Paxton had a baseball game. Tuesday night was a scouting event: trick-or-treating and halloween activities at a local nursing home. Yesterday we shopped for the perfect pumpkins and the boys spent the afternoon gutting and decorating them. Last night was baseball again. Tomorrow, God-willing, we're off to the State Fair, followed by trick-or-treating in our neighborhood at night.

And so has gone October. For better and worse we haven't stopped moving. Today, today if it's possible (is it ever really possible?) I'd like to rest. But before I do...

On October 9th, we made the heartbreaking decision to say goodbye to our Ally. She was 14 years old and severely crippled by arthritis. In her final few days she was unable to stand, and we knew that prolonging the inevitable was purely selfish on our part. The most humane and loving thing we could do was to put her down. The vet who did the euthanasia was wonderful and kind, and even had us laughing through our tears at times.


In my mind, and in a perfect world, I would write an eloquent memorial to Ally. Something that would put into words what I've been feeling the past few weeks. Somehow though, I still can't. Simply put, I just miss her, as acutely as I did the day we left the vet's office without her.

Because this is not a perfect world, and because we're not the ones in charge of timing, the very next day after losing Ally, we dried our eyes and turned our focus to a happy distraction: good friends visiting from New York for the first time. The best way to describe the visit, aside from saying we had a wonderful time, is through pictures! A few things you won't see in the pictures - their introduction to the wonder that is Wii Fit, the talking chihuahua movie, the mountain road we led them up that threatened to demolish the rental car, their first visit to our huge church, our end of the day run to Cold Stone. And of course, the laughter. Lots and lots of laughter.

They stayed for five days, after which we returned to life and reality. We mourned Ally. We took the kids to the butterfly exhibit at the Botanical Gardens..





We watched Paxton get his first (and second and third) base hits during a game...



We celebrated with Tegan as she learned to crawl and pull herself up unassisted...




And so it goes...

Church and Baseball

Paxton has been playing baseball for a month now, and I don't think I've ever seen him more excited about something. He loves everything about it - loves the game, loves the practices, loves getting into his gear. He's happy. They've had one game so far, and he played both second and third base. He was proud of his successes, undeterred by his mistakes, and can't wait for the next game. It was a big adjustment for the family for him to start the sport, since it meant saying goodbye to family dinners three nights a week, more juggling with Spencer and scouts, and an overall busier week. But I think we'd all have to admit it's been well worth it.

In other news...

We've been going to a new church for a month now. I realize that going to church for four Sundays in a row is not remarkable, but it's remarkable for *us*. I honestly can't remember the last time we were going to church regularly as a family. I know it wasn't in Everett's lifetime, possibly not in Paxton's either. Yeah, it's been a long time. It's always difficult to make a long story short - or at least readable - because it is a long story. We left the church we'd been attending because we were burnt out with intolerance, judgement, and hypocrisy. A lot of people view leaving a church as "falling away', and I'm sure at times it is. But we left church to FIND God, not walk away from Him. Our faith was strengthened over the last several years. It was a process, and like everything else in life, a journey. That journey eventually led us to Phoenix. While we tried various churches over the last few years, we never found the "one", and the timing was never right. So we waited. And then a month ago, we tried Christ's Church of the Valley.

Mike and I loved it from the first day we visited. But since this was to be a family decision, our feelings were just a small part of the equation. The kids had to love it too. And love it they did! They can't wait to go back every week. *I* can't wait to go back either, and despite having grown up going to church (or maybe because of it), I don't think I've felt that way about a church ever. I think people should be excited to go to church. I think they should go because they want to, not because it's what they think they're supposed to do. After our last negative experiences with church, I always said I'd only go back when 1) it was the right church and 2) it was for the right reasons. It only took 34 years.

Camping and Crawdads

We went camping again last weekend, this time a fairly spur-of-the-moment trip. Mom and Dad told us they were going the week before, and invited us along. Camping sounded much more interesting than staying home and cleaning the house, so off we went! It was in Lynx Lake, a beautiful area of Arizona that we've never visited before. We went up on Friday night, and on Saturday we hiked, learned to pan for gold, rented paddle-boats, and visited a creek to test our new-found gold-panning skills. It was a blast. And when the boys got tired of swishing sand, they spent the rest of the time catching and following the many many crawfish that were in the river. It was a great trip, and a short trip. I can't wait to go back again!

Little Swimmers

This week was the boys' last swim lesson of the season. We're going to pick it up again in the spring, and Tegan is going to join them! It was such a successful summer, and they all worked so hard. Keep in mind when you see these pictures that they were all NON-swimmers just a couple of months ago...

Becoming

I was originally going to title this blog "Becoming a Butterfly," because I've been thinking of this story lately:

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Butterfly (A True Story)

A family in my neighborhood once brought in two cocoons that were just about to hatch. They watched as the 1st once began to open and the butterfly inside squeezed very slowly and painfully through a tiny hole that it chewed in 1 end of the cocoon. After lying exhausted for about 10 minutes following its agonizing emergence, the butterfly finally flew out the window on its beautiful wings.

The family decided to help the 2nd butterfly so that it would not have to go through such an excruciating ordeal. So, as it began to emerge, they carefull sliced open the cocoon with a razor blade, doing the equivalent of a cesarean section. The 2nd butterfly never did sprout wings and in about 10 minutes, instead of flying away, it quietly died.

The family asked a biologist friend to explain what happened. The scientist said that the difficult struggly to emerge from the small hole actually pushes the liquids from depp inside the butterfly's body into the tiny capillaries in in the wings, where they harden to complete the health and beauty of the adult butterfly.

Without the struggle, there are no wings.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

It seems we've been experiencing some family-wide growing pains lately. So I've been thinking of this story, and thinking how butterflies do not transform overnight. They become butterflies as the result of a long and gradual process. Sometimes there are jumps between stages, and sometimes there is struggling. I've seen this again and again in myself, and I see it again and again in my kids, especially lately. So this story I've heard so long ago has been on my mind, and this blog post was born. But then I thought.... what if they don't want to be butterflies? What if they want to become dolphins or lizards or pterodactyls?

Whenever I'm asked why I homeschool, I have a tendency to babble. I am a babbler anyway, and there are just so many many reasons. This though, would have to be at the top of my list. I want my kids to be able to be what THEY want to be, and I want them to take the path THEY need to take to get there. I see so many people - friends, family members, other homeschoolers - try to subtly and not-so-subtly assist my kids in becoming "butterflies." They want to box them, label them, declare they're butterflies and send them on their way. I thank God that they have other choices, and I thank God that they know they're free to become whatever their hearts desire.

Autumn Leaves

We made these with coffee filters and watered-down paint in eye droppers. LOTS of fun. Paxton and Everett made them for two days straight!

Too much love...

The other night I was laying in bed with Tegan, and Everett came in the room to talk to us. When he was leaving, I called him back like I always do.

"Hey Ebbie"

Turning around "Yeah?"

"I love you"

Big, heaving, four-year-old sigh. "Mommy. You ALWAYS say that."

"I can't say I love you?"

"Well. You can say it SOMETIMES."

"Do I say it too much?"

"Yes, you do."

"Well will you tell me the next time it's ok to tell you?"

"OK Mommy" Goes to leave, and I just can't resist...

"Hey Ebbie... I love you."

This time, he laughed.

I do so love my kids - all four of them - in such a way that I can't imagine they'll ever truly understand it until they have kids of their own. And if I've gone over my "I love you" limit with any of them, I'll tell you instead. I. love. these. kids.

Tastes of Fall

Since Phoenix doesn't really have an autumn in the traditional sense of the word, we're bringing the autumn to Phoenix! Yesterday we tried a recipe I found for a fall smoothie - with pumpkin, applesauce, banana, and yogurt. It tasted like 5 different Thanksgiving desserts all in one drink, and unfortunately no one really liked it. Not to be deterred, we used the leftover pumpkin for muffins this morning. Delicious!!



Everett and I have been making these little Forest Fairies. Spencer started one yesterday, and Paxton tells me he will only be making one when he can figure out a way to make it a super cool, masculine, forest BOY.

Another year

Another emphatic "Heck NO, we won't be sending our kids to school!"

Of all the aspects of my life, this is always one area that I just get more sure of, more validated about, and more excited about as time goes on. I am just so thankful for the life we lead. I see the buses, I see the back-to-school sales, I see the backpacks... and I smile and watch another cooking show with Spencer.

Just for fun though, in honor of this time of year....

"The best birthday party EVER"

That's how Paxton described his 8th birthday party this weekend. We had it at an indoor/outdoor amusement place that we'd never been to before - so it wasn't without its moments of confusion - but overall it was a raging success. The kids (and the parents too, the best that I could tell) all had a great time. The party started at 4:00, and we were closing in on 9:30 when we walked with our last guests out to our cars. We were all exhausted the next morning, and Paxton complained that his legs were still sore from all the walking around. A small, small price to pay.

The Upside of Anger

Spencer was mad yesterday. Madder than I've seen him in awhile. As a parent, it's hard to see your kids upset in any way, and especially hard when their pressure is coming from within. He wasn't mad at me, wasn't mad at anyone other than himself. It was anger that came from frustration. He'd just completed his swimming lesson, probably his 8th one, and was unhappy with his progress. Spencer's approach to swimming, as it is with many things, is to cautiously put one toe in at a time. He had made huge strides in his comfort in the water, but yesterday he finally admitted to a great frustration over watching Paxton during his lesson. Quite the opposite of Spencer, Paxton has the tendency to - in this case quite literally - dive right in and hope for the best. Both non-swimmers at the beginning of the summer, Paxton is now swimming fairly competently, diving in and out, floating well, treading water, learning the backstroke. Spencer is great at holding his breath, and will try new things when there's a hand to hold.. but is only comfortable when both feet are planted firmly on the bottom of the pool.

I tried my hardest to empathize with him, to reassure him, to point out all the things he knows how to do well that were once difficult for him. But he was really in no mood to be consoled. What he needed was to be angry. And when he was done being angry, he got back in the pool (another advantage to having private lessons in my sister's pool) Pushing past the fear, he held his breath and put his face in again and again - and again - as he tried to swim to me as I sat on the step. Gradually he stepped further and further back, until his little glide forward needed a stroke of the arm, then two, then a kick. He was so determined to do it, he didn't even notice that his feet were finally up off the bottom.

It's new, and it's tentative. But he swims. Sometimes I don't think my heart can hold all the pride I feel for my kids.

Camping on Top of the World

The blame - or the credit, as the case may be - for our most recent vacation lies largely on Mike. It all started when Erika, a casual online acquaintance in Utah, became a good friend. Mike smelt a road trip. We'd never been to Utah, and were needing a vacation. It was all hypothetical at first, but quickly became a reality, especially after his status at work changed and his vacation time doubled. We decided to make it a camping trip. It had been such a long time since we'd gone camping as a family, it is so much cheaper than staying elsewhere, and it is far and way the best way to experience the beauty of the state! We planned it for the week of our 15th anniversary, and it was the perfect way to celebrate.

We got up to Ruby's Campground, at Bryce Canyon, on a Saturday night. The ride was beautiful and uneventful, except for the fact that the Googlemap directions took us an entire hour out of our way. We set up camp, spent way too much money on groceries in the little general store, and got a mediocre night sleep. On Sunday we headed into the canyon for hiking and site-seeing. I don't mean to be a traitor to my state or anything, but I think it's even more awe-inspiring than the Grand Canyon! We took just a short hike, took lots of pictures, and headed back down to civilization. We decided to make the trek to Cedar City so that we could visit a proper store. We'd done a terrible job packing, and had to pick up everything from socks to long pants to sweatshirts for Tegan.






We went into the canyon again on Monday, and stopped at all the trail heads for more hiking and even more pictures. We walked to the little village near our campground on Monday too, had some ice creams, and spent a long time in the rock shop. Paxton was sick on Monday night, so we stayed close to camp that evening and the following morning. Sickness aside, it was actually wonderful to relax. We hung out by the campfire, read books, played games, and otherwise enjoyed each other's company. By Tuesday afternoon, Paxton was well and raring to go again, and he, Spencer, and Everett spent a long time playing with the other kids they'd met around the grounds. We gave up on the air mattresses that night (they weren't holding air, and just didn't work with the baby) and we finally slept a lot better.



By Wednesday we were back to site seeing, and checked out some more of the nearby smaller canyons. We followed a winding dirt road all the way through to Panguitch, where we hit up the little market for more groceries, enjoyed the scenery, and yes.. took more pictures. It rained that afternoon, so we had to hang out in our tent, thankful that it was just for a brief period of time. That night - our last night at that campground - we bundled up in the rain and went to a rodeo. It occurred to me right before the first bull rider came out of the gate that I should warn Everett about what was going to happen, because I didn't want him to be scared when he saw someone falling off. It was completely unnecessary though, as he loved every minute of it, especially "the part when the guy falls off." They all enjoyed watching everything from bull and bronco riding, to steer roping and barrel racing... and we all slept soundly our final night at Ruby's.


Thursday - the fifth day of our trip and our 15th anniversary! - we packed everything up and headed up to meet Erika and her family at Duck Creek. Where Ruby's was proud of its pool and hotel and stores and amenities, Duck Creek was all about the camping, from the large wooded sites, to the deer that ran close enough to practically touch. It was a wonderful place, and we had wonderful company. We spent that first day just enjoying the campground... watching Doug fish in the lake, hiking around the little paths that surrounded the creek, and letting the kids get acquainted. We set up the volleyball net and tossed around Frisbees. We capped off the night by roasting hot dogs and 'smores on the fire, the quintessential camping activity.





The final day of our trip came and went quickly. We came down off the mountain long enough to visit Walmart and Erika's house, where the kids jumped on the trampoline and played XBox. We went on one final little hike, on the Bristlecone Pine Trail. We got back to the campsite that evening to discover that it had down poured in our absence, and everything from our chairs to Tegan's stroller to sweatshirts were waterlogged. We dealt with the wetness - what else could we do? - and enjoyed our last night. We stayed up late chatting and laughing around the fire, and had no less than 3 kids asleep on various laps by the time we decided to pack it in.



We headed back home just a couple of minutes after 12:00 on Saturday. I remember the time because check-out was at noon, and the powers-that-be visited our site at least three times in that last hour to make sure we were going to be leaving on time. Our ride home was long, but smooth, and we still had the energy to make a few more scenic stops on the way.





All-in-all it was an incredible trip, and we're already talking about the next one.

Check out the slideshows!

Ruby's Inn
Hiking in Bryce
Duck Creek