"Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Another Year Wiser.....

Tomorrow I'll be 36.

If New Years makes me all introspective and philosophical, birthdays make me even more so. I always think about where I am versus where I thought I'd be, what I've done versus what I thought I'd do, what I've learned versus what I thought I'd learn. I think about the surprises that the past year held, both the good (becoming friends with someone with whom I thought a friendship would never be possible), and the bad (being hospitalized and tested and anesthetized yet again)

I love being in my 30's. I'm a happy mom, and I'm a happy wife, but beyond those things I'm just more me than I ever was in my 20's. If you have known me long, or even read my blog for any length of time, you have likely heard me say this before: I didn't have a single opinion in my head when I got married. I really didn't. The lightbulb moment came for me about ten years ago, when Spencer was still a toddler. Sure, I'd discovered many things about myself as soon as he was born, but it wasn't until a couple of years later that I finally felt that feeling of "OH. This is who I am. This is who I want to be." And if it was true then, it's even more true now. This is who I am.

This year, I'm thankful for a husband that doesn't just love me in spite of all the growing I've done over the years(I want to say "changing" but I really don't feel like I've changed!), but loves me because of it. I love that he patiently listens as I pontificate about my newest passions, reads what I ask him to read when I just can't put it into my own words, and supports whatever it is that I want to try/see/learn/taste/touch.

I'm thankful for the friends I have that truly let me be me.... not in a condescending, pat-on-the-head, kind of way, but in a true, accepting, and loving way.

I'm thankful for the people that get it.

I'm thankful for the ability to surround myself with resources that support attachment parenting, breastfeeding, baby-wearing, unschooling, natural living, non-circing, non-vaxing, life learning, free thinking causes.... and the freedom to distance myself from the resources that do not.

I'm thankful for my babies.

I'm thankful for what God has done in my life. This year, I feel truly blessed.

And finally, here is another picture of me as a little girl.

Anyone else think Tegan looks just like me?

1 comment:

Alice said...

Happy birthday, Jen! Hope it's a great day and an even better year.


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