Perspective

I don't make New Year's Resolutions, but I do love to set goals (and lists; I love lists), break them up into pieces, and work every day to get there. If I were to make a resolution, it would be the same one year after year... not because I fail at it and need to resolve to do it over again, but because I think it's just that important:

Don't sweat the small stuff.  And it's all small stuff.

It's an old adage, to be sure, but a good one. I still have the book on my shelf somewhere, dusty and dog-eared,   moved from house to house... packed, unpacked, and packed again.

It's been at least a decade since I've read it, but I like knowing that it's there... to remind me.

Not that I really need a book to remind me, as life is replete with reminders.  I had my first such reminder of the year yesterday, January 2nd, and as it turned out it carried into this morning as well.  I was sitting at the kitchen counter, wasting a colossal amount of time doing important internet research on my laptop, and drinking a mudslide, when Tegan climbed up onto my lap.  I'm not sure what happened exactly, whether she lost her balance and reached for the counter or what.  Or maybe I shifted her on my lap and she accidently bumped it; I truly don't know.  All I know is something fell off the counter, and there was a crash - the crackling, cringe-worthy kind - and I knew something had broken.  It took me a minute to realize what it was, because I was more concerned about my laptop, as I have a somewhat bad history with my laptop and adult beverages (or any kind of beverage)  But my laptop was fine.  My camera, in pieces on the tile, was not.  The lens was broken, the body was broken, the whole thing was rendered useless.  Now, I'm not into "things", but if I had to choose, my camera would have been one of my top three favorite possessions.  

And I was looking at it, and I was looking at Mike (who was examining it, and muttering, and periodically reaffirming that it was indeed completely ruined) and I felt..... fine.  

It's just a camera.

It was a complete accident, and accidents happen.  Even if it wasn't.... even if she'd grabbed it and THROWN it onto the floor, for whatever reason... my getting upset would not change the fact that it's still small stuff.  Am I happy that I just lost a $600 camera?  No.  What I'm happy about is that if that's the worst of my problems right now, I'm doing pretty well.  I have nothing to complain about.  There are actual problems in the world.  A broken camera is not one of them.  There was a time when we would've run right out and gotten another, courtesy of Visa, but that impulse is gone.   Instead, we'll do without a camera for a bit, save up some money, and replace it in a few months.  And when we do, it'll be nice, and I'll be excited..... and it'll still be just a camera.  Like all the other "stuff" we may use - and enjoy and appreciate, sure - it just doesn't matter.   Life isn't about things.

And just so I'd have a nice little post-script - I got up this morning, anxious to get to my faithful laptop to get started on this blog.  It made a horrific noise, like a helicopter waiting to take off, froze, and has so far refused to start back up.  It's been on borrowed time since the first wine incident (which may or may not have had anything to do with the same two people who were in the near vicinity for the camera breaking) and I believe it's time I face that the fact that it's going to need to be replaced sooner rather than later too.

So I'm using one of the desktops, sitting on an old, damaged office chair, with half of the seat's cloth ripped away, and huge chunks of stuffing pulled out.  

And I'm truly, and deliriously, happy.

I am blessed.