"Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

Monday, May 02, 2011

To Everett, who's still brave and strong

Everett turns seven today. In honor of his birthday, I decided to write him a letter, just as I did for Tegan when she turned three, and will hopefully continue to do for all four going forward. 

To my sweet Everett,

Today's your birthday, which means I'm thinking of your birth story again.  It's always hard for me to re-visit that day, because it was one of the most truly frightening things I've ever experienced as a mother.  No mother ever dreams about her baby being born blue, not breathing, and not making any sounds.  No mother wants to watch, desperately praying, while doctors work to resuscitate her newest son.  It's still hard for me to look at those early early pictures, even after you were breathing well...  you looked so pale, so fragile.  I like the pictures that were taken a little later, after you'd finally been placed in my arms.  So alert, and so, so beautiful. 

I do think about that day though, and I do talk about it.  Mainly because you like to hear it so much. You love to hear, over and over, about your entry into the world.  You love to tell me how brave you were, and how strong, and how you started breathing because you couldn't wait to meet me. 

And I couldn't wait to meet you either.   How did I get so lucky to be blessed with a third son?

Everett, you inspire me.  In so many ways.  I love how excited you get to try something - anything - new.  I love how quick you are with a smile, and how you're even quicker with a hug.  I love how affectionate you are.  I love your sense of humor, and I love hearing you laugh.  I love your enthusiasm, how much you just love life.  I love that no matter what you're feeling... whether it's happiness, sadness, fear, or elation... that you let yourself feel it, and express it, fully.  I love how authentic you are.  I love how you're flat-out wrestling with your best friend one moment, and painting your fingernails the next.  I love your gap-toothed grin, and I love the way you lisp when you talk.

But mostly, I just love YOU.   I am forever grateful, and proud, to be able to call you my son.


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