Yesterday, I was back in panic mode. We leave for our trip in 12 days, and it still feels like there are mountains to climb before we do. Making matters worse is the fact that I'm the only one who feels that way. Mike simply doesn't stress out about much of anything, and the kids are just looking forward to a fun vacation (as they should be)
Sunday night was a rough night. I wasn't feeling well; Everett had a nightmare very early on, and was in our bed the rest of the night; Tegan was tossing and turning and kicking even more than usual; I ended up sleeping in a ball on the end of our bed. The big boys were up past 2:00 (which is not unusual for them) but were woken by Tegan far too early in the morning. Everyone was tired and grumpy, and what I should have done was given us all a free day... a no obligation, lounge around, rest and recoup kind of Monday.
But, oh no. We had 13 days left. We had to CLEAN!
I started with my own desk, and instead of leaving well enough alone, I then decided it was imperative that I tackle the computer room.
|This is the 'after' picture, but the girl had already dumped something out again.|
I asked the kids to help me, but they were too tired. (Of course they were too tired; No one got any sleep). I asked them again. Spencer was half asleep on the couch, Paxton was engrossed in a computer game, and Tegan and Everett were chasing each other around the house. No one really answered me.
And again, I should have taken the hint, followed their lead - and my own level of exhaustion - and rested. Instead, as if possessed by some mop-wielding inner demon, I became that mom. The stomping, huffing, sighing, "fine, I'll do it myself", martyr of a mom. For the next hour, I was noisily moving chairs and bookshelves, digging stuff out from beneath the desks,
It really wasn't my finest moment.
I was tired, I was irritated, and I couldn't even enjoy the fruits of my labor once I'd finished. Who can enjoy something they'd done with the wrong attitude in the first place?
I do still want to get the house clean before we go. But not like that. Today, I will get a grip and remember what's important. I'll listen to my kids, listen to my own body, and save the cleaning for another dang day if need be.
And if all else fails, I'll stick to the kitchen side of the house, and avoid the computer room completely.
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